Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
