READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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