I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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