I want to have your abortion
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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