if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
