In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
