I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
