i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
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I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
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i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You don't make any sense
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