oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
