i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I had to cum in my sink.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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