We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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