she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize