All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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