i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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