it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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