if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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