We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
