I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
