Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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