if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize