He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
