a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
