I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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