Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
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