Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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