He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
