Soap is not a condiment
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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