Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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