I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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