My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize