I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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