at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
