I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
