She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
