this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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