i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
