I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
