Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
