so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
