All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
