I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Randomize
