there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban