his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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