The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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