If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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