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• (301): View more from Maryland

  so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.

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• (516): View more from New York

  Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary

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• (209): View more from California

  I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.

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• (925): View more from California

  Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh my god I need an adult

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wait shit I am an adult

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