1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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