break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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