I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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