At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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