I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize