My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I checked into jail on foursquare
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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