So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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