I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
