i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
