Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
