and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
