it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
