yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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