I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
