Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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