umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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