we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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