Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
this hospital has no fireball
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
