Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
