When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
