ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
