I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
